Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
