I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize