It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
