One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize