the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
