She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He felt like a one man threesome
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
