But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
