I am in a vortex of obligation.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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