She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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