spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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