how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
