long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
