Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize