Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
