God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
