they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
