whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
