Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My penis needs a shock collar
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
