i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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