i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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