He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
