I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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