i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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