You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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