You really coming over, don't trick.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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