Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
