I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
