question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
