Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
