Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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