his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
