Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
