it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
