STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would ride that face into the sunset
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
