Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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