Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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