I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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