yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
