I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize