Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
