Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
only you would photoshop your dick
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
