He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
