is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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