Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
