My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize