Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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