the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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