Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
