im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
