I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
