Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
