dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Green mimosas i think yes
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
