Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
