Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
