Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize