K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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