yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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