i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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