I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
