Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
