The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
