So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
