Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
