She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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