I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
