this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
